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Small Business Bestie
Entrepreneurship is hard, and sometimes we could use a friend to walk a mile in our shoes. Small Business Bestie is here to provide that friendship, support, and inspiration that small business owners need from time to time.
Small Business Bestie
35: Stephanie Spires' Journey of Passion and Purpose
Stephanie Spires, a trailblazer in the community and entrepreneurial world, takes us on an inspiring journey through the creation of Women's Entrepreneurs Lex. This dynamic networking group has blossomed into a thriving community with over 1,100 members in Lexington. Stephanie's story is a testament to the power of accidental beginnings turning into monumental successes, as she set out to create a space where women from diverse backgrounds can find support, share resources, and achieve unexpected business breakthroughs. Stephanie offers insight into managing motherhood, entrepreneurship, and fostering an inclusive environment through personal anecdotes. 🩷😌🥇
In this heartfelt episode, we navigate the critical landscape of trauma-informed educational advocacy, especially for neurodivergent children and those facing extreme trauma. Drawing from her own experiences, Stephanie shares the nuances of empowering families to navigate educational settings with confidence, understanding behavior as a form of communication, and fostering collaboration between parents and schools. We also explore the pressing challenges in education post-COVID, highlighting the need for adaptive strategies in schools to address both academic and social setbacks.
As our conversation unfolds, Stephanie candidly discusses her journey as a single mom of five, grappling with the challenges of entrepreneurship while pursuing a passion for family life coaching. Despite financial uncertainties, her leap of faith underscores the essence of risk-taking, overcoming imposter syndrome, and ultimately prioritizing personal fulfillment alongside professional ambitions. We wrap up by exploring the broader mission of building a business that aligns with purpose—child advocacy, education, and mental health—offering a glimpse into the transformative power of women's intuition and determination in reshaping communities and creating lasting impacts.🧠💪
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Small Business Bestie is edited by Bourbon Barrel Podcasting
Welcome to the Small Business Bestie podcast. I'm your host, michelle. We are creating community and coaching women entrepreneurs, and we are so glad that you're here. Let's meet this week's Small Business Bestie. Let's meet this week's Small Business Bestie. Stephanie Spires is here with me today and we have a lot to talk about. She's one of my favorite humans in Lexington and I've known her for a while. I actually had the pleasure of meeting her through a networking event group that she hosts every month here in Lexington. So, stephanie, tell us about your group and tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you for having me here today. So, yeah, so we met through Women's Entrepreneurs Lex, and Women's Entrepreneurs Lex is an accidental group that started six years ago. We're about to celebrate our sixth anniversary this December, but at the time, I owned a little indoor kids play space called Lex Kids Club over in the Distillery District, and all these moms were coming in, working moms trying to let their kids play while they were trying to accomplish things. And you know, you know this, your mom moms do all the things. And so the holiday season is a time where we're trying to do our work, meet our goals, finish what we're doing, but then we're supposed to be visioning for next year. And oh, by the way, where are you getting that honey baked ham? And are you picking up Tickle Me, elmo? And oh surprise, your kid wants something you've never heard of.
Speaker 2:Not to mention the million different parties and luncheons and things you got to go to Right I mean, how many cookies can you bake? And so we just said we'll all come together and we'll just get in a room and kind of say this is what I need and how can we help each other out. And so we got in this space, we said you know, this is what we need. And we kind of made some goals and we said we'll come back in January and we'll meet again. So that was six years ago. We still meet monthly. We currently meet at Guide Realty over on Winchester Road at 8.30 am on the second Monday of each month.
Speaker 2:We have a really good group of women, but we also have a Facebook group online that has over 1,100 women in Central Kentucky on it. So it's a very active group women in central Kentucky on it. So it's a very active group. There's no fee to participate. There's no expectation. We have women who are aspiring entrepreneurs and we have women who are established entrepreneurs.
Speaker 2:It's a very laid back group. We're all moms, we're all trying to get our kids to school. So if you roll in a few minutes late, there's no judgment. If you leave early, there's no judgment. And I tell women come in your yoga pants or come in your pantsuit. There's no dress code. This is just a space where you genuinely can come in and say this is what I need.
Speaker 2:It's a group that's meant to support each other. There's plenty of networking groups out there about referrals and about business networking, and this is really about how do I fill myself up, and then the ironic thing that's happened is we've had, honestly, probably millions of dollars at this point, a few million of revenue that has transpired between all the women businesses. We've sold houses to each other, we've helped each other start businesses, we've got doctors, we've got medical professionals, we have insurance agents. And the other thing I like about the group is it's also a diverse group. It is not a group that you walk in and every woman looks the same. We have a lot of racial, ethnicity, age, economic diversity in the group, and that is something that I really take pride in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a fantastic group. The first time that I went I knew it was somewhere that I was going to be back, you know, month after month after month. And I really like also that, although there is like a business networking kind of feel to it, you know, especially when you know having the speakers that come in and talk about self-care and things like that, it really makes it different and stand out compared to a lot of the other networking groups that are around.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, that's the goal and, like I said, I accidentally started it and host it and people laugh at me because really the group has taken on a life of its own. I do very little, but it just meets month after month after month and, like you said, we have great guest speakers. You're speaking in November. We have some people up in the new year talking about leadership, talking about organization, goal setting, visionary. So we have a really good speaker lineup of local women entrepreneurs.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, you're doing a great job with it. I love the group and I'm glad to know so many of the connections that I have and the friends that I've made I've made in that room. So thanks for doing what you do. That's awesome. So, aside from women's entrepreneurs Lex which is one of the hardest things for me to say, just so you know but aside from that, tell us about all of the other things that is the Stephanie Spires brand.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So you know when I introduce myself I always say I'm the mom of five. Being the mom of five, I thrive off of systems, processes, organization. I am a current adoptive mom but a former foster mom. I also am a natural mother, so I have a lot of experience with children of a variety. You know I've had over 40 foster kids in my house and I tell people if you've had it, I've parented it. So I have parented kids with special needs, kids who English is their second language, kids who are twice exceptionally gifted, kids with medical needs. You know I've had babies, I've had teens. I have a crew that's now up in their like 30s that I fostered. So I have really a lot of experience with children in my home and through that I've spent over 20 years working in children's advocacy and in that space I served on the Fayette County School Board for six years during COVID and during the passing of our superintendent.
Speaker 2:I've spoken in Frankfurt several times advocating for different legislation that would help specifically children in foster care and homeless children in our state. I previously served as the executive director of Arbor Youth Services, which is the children's homeless shelter here in Central Kentucky. So I was the director a decade ago and then I recently served as director again before transitioning into this space again, where I'm just really focused on my child advocacy work and supporting both children and their families, but then also providing support to the schools, organizations, churches, programs et cetera that are working with our children and our families, to make sure that we're all working together and in the best interest of our children.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think you and I spoke a little bit before we started recording and it's really something that I think, if you're not in that world, if you're not involved in it day to day, it's easy to completely forget that there are children being left behind, you know, by the systems that are in place, because we're not all communicating properly, we're not really all like taking the time to stop and say are we on the same page here? Are we, you know, fighting the same battle? So, with the advocacy work that you're doing through your new venture, tell me a little bit more about, specifically, how you're going to try to implement change and make a difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so in the first piece I would have worked directly with families, and so you know I've been a parent in that space right. I've had to advocate for my children. I have four neurodivergent children, so I understand having to advocate for them. I also have parent neurodivergent children, so I understand having to advocate for them. I also have parented children that have had extreme trauma, and so I understand the importance that really we need all of our schools and all of our professionals to be trauma-informed. So through that I really want to do both educational advocacy work where I help families get the confidence, the skills, et cetera, to go into meetings in the school and know how to advocate for their kids, whether it be a meeting for a 504 or individualized education plan, or if there's behavioral concerns or even academic concerns, how do I advocate for my child in the classroom or at a higher level to make sure my child's getting what they need. I also do have my family life coaching certification from NC State, and so I like working with families, you know working with parents on, you know, not just advocating but how do we help our children right, because it can be really lonely being the parent of a child that has a special need or learns differently. Also, if you have children that have behaviors, you may feel like you can't talk about that. And reminding parents too that when we talk about behaviors, every behavior is a form of communication. The kids are trying to communicate something to us. So let's take a step back and not focus on little Johnny's bad behavior, but let's figure out what is little Johnny trying to communicate to us, what does he need and how can we work with him to help him communicate his needs and get his needs met. And so that's really the piece I want to focus on.
Speaker 2:First is working with those families. But then the second piece is kind of what I said. You know we need everybody to be trauma informed, and you know I walk into these meetings so often and I see that both sides are very adversarial. You know the parents come in they say the school doesn't support my child, and the school comes in and says like oh, there's Mrs Smith again.
Speaker 2:You know that's what we want to get past, because the reality is back to little Johnny. Everybody wants little Johnny to succeed. It is in everybody's best interest that little Johnny has his needs met and that he succeeds, and so I want to provide training, support, meeting facilitation to schools, to organizations, programs, churches, et cetera that work with children and families, to make sure that we are providing services through a trauma-informed lens that really focuses and recognizes that, the end of the day, these scholars, these students, these, these clients there are customers, right, and we need to recognize that they're more than just a number or an individual. They are our customers, and if these kids weren't coming to school, we wouldn't have a school. And so making sure that we're providing that trauma-informed support in all areas and so that is a piece that I'm really excited about is working with these organizations to continue their work and strengthen their work with their customers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's incredible, and what came to mind when you were talking about that is I'm just wondering, like, with the like crowdedness of the schools and all of that that we have going on right now, like do you feel like all of that kind of plays into the lack of customer service that we have going on, or is there something else that's maybe layered on top of that?
Speaker 2:You know, there's just a lot going on in schools right now and it's kind of in that post-COVID world, right. So we've got kids that are behind. We have kids that are behind socially and academically because they missed some of the building blocks. You know, I look at my two middle children, for example. They were in kindergarten when COVID started. The two of them cannot schedule a play date if their life depended on it. But that was what they missed, like kindergarten first, second grade, those key hey, this is my mom's phone number, call me, let's hang out on Friday night. Or my two older girls excel in that, and so, you know, it's even those social pieces more so, you know. Then they're also behind in reading, academics, and so we have these children that are behind.
Speaker 2:And then I think we've stressed on educators to. You know, why are they behind? Why can't you expedite getting them ahead? And I will say, as someone who worked in education during that time, as a school board member, I really was optimistic. I thought this is an opportunity, we're going to look at things differently. But we really haven't looked at things differently.
Speaker 2:In fact, I feel like we're implementing more standardized tests, we're freaking out more if the kid can't read by third grade.
Speaker 2:We're just going by the same old data which isn't relevant anymore because the timeline has shifted, and so I think there's a lot of pressure on educators.
Speaker 2:At the same time, we're seeing increased behaviors in schools, especially at the middle school and the high school level a lot more fighting in schools, a lot more just apathy, and again, I think that goes back to this piece of social that you know, if you missed your third, fourth and fifth grade years and the social skill development and then you basically you're taking like a fifth grader and sticking them in a high school. Yeah, we're seeing a lot of that, and so I think a lot of it just puts pressure and everyone gets tired, they're exhausted, they're burned out, the expectations are unrealistic, and so what happens is is I don't think anybody really wants little Johnny to fail they're just so exhausted that they aren't even sure how to help little Johnny. And that's what we've got to do, especially having this trauma-informed approach, is that we recognize that everyone's exhausted and we recognize what is it that you need to take care of yourself to be able to provide that education, that customer service to your scholars.
Speaker 1:That is such an important piece of it because I think you hit it on the head. Like oftentimes it isn't that they just don't care, they don't want to provide that service, it's that they don't have a full cup, so how the heck are they going to pour into little Johnny or little Johnny's mama or anybody else you know? So that's such an important part, like going in and like validating those folks and saying like hey, you've got a really tough role here. Like this is hard what you're being asked to do, but you're not going to be able to even get close to doing it as well as you can if you're not able to take care of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it brings back. So I worked with a foster mom yesterday who called me and she had recently had a car wreck and so she has a child in her home who has really high needs and really extreme behaviors. And she was just really kind of and she's very experienced home and she felt like I can't meet his needs. And I said, well, you can't meet his needs. You had a car wreck last week, like you are not a hundred percent yourself. And it is okay to say I can't meet his needs right now. I need support.
Speaker 2:And I said I think the hard thing in the child advocacy world is that sometimes, especially in foster care, you not at a hundred percent is the best that this kid really has and that's really hard on you as the adult thinking, well, I only have 80% to give, but my 80%, if I don't give it, he's going to get zero. But it's important that we again step back and realize if we aren't full, we aren't. We're doing a disservice to everybody. And I said you're really putting off the inevitable if you don't call the social worker now and call everyone out and say I need help and there's nothing wrong. When you took this placement you were in a different place, but now you've had a wreck, you've got to replace your car, you're injured, there's a lot going on and it makes it that much more difficult for you to provide support to a child that has some extreme needs and some attachment issues, because he's been in multiple homes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wow, it's really incredible the mission that you have and I'm grateful to know you so well thank you. Okay, I want to switch just a little. We've talked a lot about like what you do and why you're passionate about it and I'm like so blown away by your heart for everyone around you. But I want to talk a little bit about the actual business side of what you're doing and kind of maybe just walking us through, like how this all happened and what you envision and kind of your plan.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I started Inspire Strategies several years ago doing mostly consulting for nonprofits. So a lot of interim leadership, board training, strategic planning, program implementation, and I really enjoyed that space. But that space has gotten crowded. First of all, there's a lot of people in the strategic planning space, and the other piece is I realized I was doing things for organizations that I didn't even like. There was one strategic plan I did and I thought, if you all close tomorrow, nobody would miss you. But it's like how do you articulate that to your client, right, who's paid you thousands of dollars to do a strategic plan for them? And you're sitting here thinking maybe you should close.
Speaker 2:And so I also, you know, at being the single mom of five, I was worried about the finances. Right, being an entrepreneur, you are constantly. It's the highs and lows. Some days you're like I am going to make it, and then an hour later you are like head in the pillow, being like I don't know how I'm paying for dinner. And so I thought, you know, my kids are getting kind of older. I want to just coast through maybe their middle school, high school years. It'd be great to get a steady job.
Speaker 2:And so I went back to Arbor Youth Services, where I'd previously served as the executive director. I had a great opportunity to go back there. It's ironic I left the first time because I had three in preschool or daycare and my daycare bill was more than my paycheck. So I decided to go back, knowing that, ironically, it was actually a pay cut and it was more hours. But I thought, okay, the stability of this and all that, and so I stayed there for a year. But a couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to walk away and I did, and it has. It feels right. It also feels reckless. You know, there's a part of me that's like I don't know, but I gosh can we get t-shirts made that say right and reckless yes.
Speaker 2:Great, that's what I need to wear around, because it, you know, I haven't. I haven't had my head in a pillow yet so far. This feels like the right direction to go. I have been talking about this for years. I mean, I got my family life coaching certificate years ago and wanted to work with families, I mean pre-COVID, and I have been in this space for 20 years and I've always said this is needed and this is. But I've been so scared and then I also, you know, have been scared to grow right, like there's like this imposter syndrome about you and what I realized is that you know, it's my time. It is time to I have nothing standing my way. I need to go after this. I'm not sure, you know, am I financially stable? No, not at all. Where I need to be?
Speaker 2:I'm a single mom, post-covid. You know groceries are expensive. This morning my kid threw out like, hey, I want Mario Kart. Like just go pick that up. This afternoon, my toddler is always saying, hey, maybe you can buy that. And I'm like you're three. Why do you think that? So you know, am I where I need to be? No, and I can make up all the excuses as to why, but I can already tell, in the two weeks since I have been doing this and I've been working hard. I mean, you start a new business. You are working 24-7. It is all your mind can think about. It is all you're just constantly thinking what can I do? And you're excited about it. But I've already noticed that I'm calmer around my kids, that I'm enjoying them. It's I know when to put it up and to focus on them versus.
Speaker 2:You know, before I ran a 24-hour emergency shelter. You know I got calls the last night I was there. Actually, I got multiple calls from youth at 9.15 pm, I got a text message from staff at 2.15 am and then another text message from staff at 5.45 am and that was all before I walked in the office at 8.30 am and so I was constantly on and I wasn't able to be there. That's the irony. And I was stressed about money because I was making less money but working more, so I didn't have the ability to make money on the side. And so here I am, two weeks out Again.
Speaker 2:I don't know if this was reckless or wise, but I'm excited and I'm excited about the opportunities. You know, I'm building the ship as I go. Right, so I don't, or building the plane as you go is I think that's the saying. I don't really know.
Speaker 2:I know what I envision, and I envision is an actual firm that employs other people and that has divisions, that we have divisions that work with children, divisions that work with schools and organizations. We may even have a piece that works on legislation, lobbying, child advocacy, and that's that field in that realm, and you know, it can't all be done at once and it's not all going to be able to be done by me. And so, recognizing that, as I build this ship, I want to bring other people on to be a part of this with me and to really grow something that, in the end, you know, I think everyone's goal is to make money while doing good, and so if I can make money and help children and families across the country and that's the thing too I see this being national I don't see this firm just being Lexington, kentucky, right, I see this being something that is, you know, is well known in DC and is out there. I want to be speaking at PTA conferences and education conferences and child advocacy conferences. I want to be out there talking about the state of our kids because I think it's important that we recognize you know, how many kids do we have that are homeless?
Speaker 2:When I started working with Fayette County Schools in 2011, they told me they had less than 20 homeless kids, and I remember saying that's not right.
Speaker 2:I don't think you have counted that right. You know, as of a couple weeks ago, they had almost 500 already this school year. So now that we're really out there accurately counting but I think that goes back to the core of my business We've got to figure out who are our scholars, who are our students, who are our customers, what are their needs. You know, everyone has had trauma now between COVID and whatnot, and so that's why that trauma piece is so important. Where it may have been less important in the past is we're all recognizing the importance of mental health, the importance of taking care of ourselves. But yes, but that's where I kind of see this all going is that this is really a national platform and a national business that is needed, that hopefully can help a lot of children along the way and maybe pay for my own children's college educations in the process. Right, because, yeah, the day we're still moms and we're still paying the bills.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. I mean, there's so many things about your story that I think are super relatable to me as an entrepreneur, and I'm sure to so many other people, but the two things that I think stood out to me the most is the like I'm not really sure how I'm going to get there, but I'm just going to start building it and see what happens. And I mean, I don't know many entrepreneurs that I've talked to over the past what 15 years of being in this kind of world that were like, oh yeah, I knew exactly how I was going to do it. I had the business plan down pat before I started, you know, I had my three months, six months, nine months, 12 month goals lined out and I hit every single one of them along the way, you know. So most of us are just like, okay, here's, here's how I think it might work, and I'm just going to jump in and see what happens. And so I think that it's like knowing that that's what the entrepreneurs that we look up to did.
Speaker 2:Right, and I think you've hit the nail on the head, too, though, about women, because women are more hesitant to start businesses because of what you just said, and there's a lot of data on this that shows like men have an idea. They walk into the bank, they're like I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I need $100,000. And the bank's like great, let's go with it. And women are like I don't know if I can take. You know, like you and I both have done some business coaching, and people come to us and they have great ideas and they're scared to verbalize or share their idea. They talk about how they you know, oh, I can't do this because it's irresponsible or you know it'll eat up our finances, or I can't go get a $100,000 loan and be on the hook for that, and so, yeah, there's that people.
Speaker 1:I can only do it if I don't have to take out any debt. Yeah, because we're terrified of debt. Yeah, and I'm not saying that debt is a good thing or a bad thing, I'm just saying like, as women, we are very hesitant to fund our dreams with debt, where men are like, hey, let me go get this loan, exactly. But I think it's so interesting because just yesterday I saw on Facebook someone posted a thing. I did not fact check this, so it could be total malarkey. I don't know if it's accurate or not, but it said remember that it was just 50 years ago, that, you know, women had to have a cosigner for a loan, a credit card or a bank account. Yeah, and I was like, how has that only been 50 years? Our mindset about our autonomy as a business owner and our ability to ask for funding or to risk our savings on it because we are still in this scarcity mindset of like things could go wrong. And then what Exactly?
Speaker 2:Exactly. I think the other piece, too, is just exactly what I'm doing is we know that more women are starting businesses and I you know there's some data out there and I believe this too. I think women are starting businesses as a way to bypass the glass ceiling, right, yeah, because we're trying to do all the things. We're trying to buy the Tickle Me, elmo and Honey Baked Ham, and it goes back to that. But we need the flexibility and we can get it all done. But we can't get it all done if we have to sit at a desk from 9 to 5. But if we can have this space to be innovative, to be creative and to still be there to maybe go see our little child in the school play tonight or stop by for the Christmas party, we're more filled up and they're more filled up.
Speaker 2:But you look at like the law firm model. One of my favorite firms in town is an all-female owned firm and the reason I love them and I really think about this is I think you know if you're in a traditional law firm and you go and have a baby and you're on a partner track, you're suddenly behind on the partner track, like you're always having to play catch up because you took 12 weeks off. You know, maybe you only took six weeks off, you shouldn't have been able to take like 12 months off. But because we have kind of this traditional business sense, I think more women are saying you know what? I can't conform to that, and so I'm going to go over here and what we're seeing is these women are starting these businesses, and women's businesses have a higher rate of success than men's businesses, and I think it's because they're coming at it from this approach, yeah, or coming out from this supportive approach, this balance.
Speaker 1:I was reading the other day about the impact of women-owned businesses in their community and how they have a bigger impact on the community because of the actual network community that they build, of women supporting each other and, you know, strengthening the bonds within that community, which is, you know, there's no dollar amount you can put on that, but it's more valuable than a business that isn't creating that kind of camaraderie and community within the actual physical locations.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, one of my dreams and you know this, this is one of the things I want to do with Women Entrepreneurs, lex is that I really would like to start a investment fund that supports women-owned businesses. And I'm not talking about these solar panels or cyber you know these big companies I'm talking about the woman who owns a floral shop in West Liberty, kentucky, or the woman who bakes cookies out of her house and wants to have a commercial kitchen and ship across the country, and these are the women that make so many of our communities, and we know this. We have a lot of poverty in Kentucky.
Speaker 2:Going back to the kids, I mean, we have some of the highest rate of childhood poverty and childhood homelessness in the country, and I think one of the best ways that we could really make a difference is by empowering women in these little communities, because what we even see is, even when we have women angel investors and such, they typically fund male businesses.
Speaker 2:So I think to have right, and we're not dogging on the males, but we just established they go to the bank and they get money, like we need women lifting other women up, and so one of the real things that I hope as I grow my business and grow my success is that I'm able to build pathways for other women and I'm appreciative to the women who have helped build pathways for me, who have helped open doors, who have introduced me to clients and have helped kind of, you know, cheered me up and made sure I got my head out of the pillow on those. Yes, but that's what I really, that's my ultimate vision Like that is when I know I have succeeded is if I'm able to provide funding and support to small business women across the state.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm in. We're collaborating from now on. Yeah, I'm just going to merge everything, right.
Speaker 2:We got to make money to give money. That is the piece. You know, I tell people all the time you can't give the shirt off your back without a shirt to give. But I'm really determined to put a you know good shirt on my back so that I can bring others along with me.
Speaker 1:I love that so much. Yeah, I know that that's one of your goals is to create that fund and I hope you know that I'm I'm on board to support in any way that I can because I think that that's a fantastic mission. And you know, recently I've become a little more aware of business funding and things like that. My coaching previously has really centered more around startups and like get your idea on paper, like figure out exactly what you're going to do, and then the like logistics of like okay, now we're going to do an LLC and we're going to open your tax accounts and those types of things. And recently it's switched and I've had to learn a lot more about how do we acquire funding, and I'm realizing that. You know, it's great to say like, oh well, I'm a minority business owner, I'm a woman business owner or I'm a African-American business owner or whatever, but like, that does not really open that many doors for grants and things like that, which is what we're kind of told right, like that's the consensus is like, oh, I'm a minority business owner, I'm going to be able to get a grant, no problem. Those grants are almost all made for tech startup companies, right? So if you're not in the tech field. If you're a baker, if you're a florist, if you're a massage therapist, if you're any of you know anything else, then really finding a grant that you're going to qualify for is very difficult, and then it's going to be so competitive because there are so few of them, right? So if we had that local fund available, that was. I think that would be the most amazing way to contribute. So, please, keep us in the loop. Anything we can do. That's the goal. Yeah, awesome, all right. Well, I mean, I feel like we've.
Speaker 1:Oh no, I was about to close this thing out, but there was something else I wanted to mention that you brought up, which was the imposter syndrome, and I've decided that I'm just going to start referring to it as is or is he, I'm not sure, because so many of us have that and I think that, like, there's the imposter syndrome of, like I won't be able to achieve my goals because I'm a woman, but then there's the imposter syndrome of I've never done this before and I'm probably not going to be good enough to do it, which is a whole other piece.
Speaker 1:So it's like I'm an imposter because I'm a woman in a man's world, and then there's I'm an imposter, because even if I stand up and say I'm a woman hear me roar I don't know if I'm going to be good enough doing the thing that I'm supposed to do, or I've never ran a business before, so I might fail. And I think that that is like I don't know how we get rid of that, except for all of us to just keep shouting like hey, I felt it too and I just stomped on its head.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And told it to shut up. You know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I think for me. So I'm an interesting again. Going back to the child advocacy piece, I feel like a lot of the past year or two has been me discovering why Izzy hangs out with me, and what I have figured out is I'm the child of an adoptee and I'm the adoptive parent of four. And you know, with adoption comes trauma, comes attachment issues, comes a lot of. I say adoption is the most beautiful, messy thing in the world. There's a lot of good and there's a lot of bad, and for me I have always just been the peacekeeper.
Speaker 2:You know, I don't want to rock the boat. You know, my 14 year old especially really struggles with attachment and I am her person and I am her person. So when she has a great day I benefit, and when she's a bad day I feel it. And so because of that I have kind of created this persona that I just don't rock the boat Like I don't. I just I will stay stable, so everybody else in my life can be unstable, and what I've realized is, you know, that's not fair to me, and so I've been more vocal, even to my children.
Speaker 2:Good job, hey, I don't have time for this. You've gotten to be you. I'm going to be me for a little bit and I've kind of that's helped me silence Izzy, is understanding where Izzy came from and why Izzy isn't me, and so that's really something that I've, you know, thanks to some great therapy sessions and great you know reading and really just diving in to reactive attachment disorder and attachment disorders and kind of understanding how my parenting journey and my childhood have led me to this space where I don't want to rock the boat.
Speaker 1:First of all, we need a lot of t-shirts based on this conversation. I need a t-shirt that says shut up Izzy, Right or reckless. That says shut up Izzy, Right or reckless, Right or reckless. Yeah, this has been so much fun. I'm really glad that you agreed to come chat with me. I know that everybody's going to get so much value out of everything that you've talked about today. So, before we go, how can people connect with you, follow you, learn more about you?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So first of all, I want to say thank you for having me, and it's so funny. We scheduled this a while back and I had no idea I would be here right, like the two weeks ago. I would have walked out and be like I'm all in, I am chasing my dreams. So this is just another one of those ways I've affirmed that I made the right choice, because there were things I was putting in place that led up to this and I didn't even realize it. Now they're here and it's great, so I appreciate you having me here. So, yeah.
Speaker 2:So Spire Strategies it's pretty simple spirestrategiescom. You know we're on Facebook, instagram, stephanie Spires. I'm listed as mom of bugs because I always refer to my children as bugs, because that started back when I was fostering and I was kind of sharing our foster journey, and so my kids are all I have big bug, baby bug, bitty bug, boy bug and baby boy bug and so. But I've recently started I've got a TikTok where I talk about children's advocacy issues and issues that are important to parents and families. Last week, for example, one of the big topics in Kentucky that came out is we have hundreds of children sleeping on the floors of social services offices because we don't have enough foster homes.
Speaker 2:So you can follow me and kind of stay up to date on what's going on nationally and at the state level and local level etc. But also we tackle some of those basics like how do you handle certain behaviors and stuff like that with your kids. So, yes, you can follow me, stephanie Spires, like the twin Spires, we're here in Kentucky. I tell everybody that that's how you spell it S-P-I-R-E-S, and just follow me and find me and I'm out there on all the LinkedIns and the social medias and definitely send a contact and we can connect.
Speaker 1:I'm so proud of you for following your dream and listening to that women's intuition that we sometimes try to ignore. So congratulations on your huge moves. I'm super excited to see what happens and you know I'll be following along because I see you all the time.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you. You know it's funny, I think you and me again, we coach all these women, and one of the things that's pushing me is I've seen so many women succeed that I thought it's my turn. I'm going to do this, so I'm excited.
Speaker 1:Oh, it is your turn. Go get it, steph. Thank you, bye. Thanks for listening, friends. My name is Michelle Smock and I own Cultivate Accounting, a boutique accounting firm specializing in small business, and I own Small Business Bestie, where I help women entrepreneurs go from idea to launch and beyond. Check the show notes for links to my website and socials, and also please take a moment to subscribe and review. It really would mean the world to me.